[ that is laying it on a little thick - but it's lost on a san lang that hasn't earned his title yet, who hasn't even conceived of a different name for himself than the two that he has. still, he's amused in turn, and finally there's something of an actual smile twisting at the corners of his mouth. crooked and boyish, but an expression that a watcher has shown, too, even if it's a little more new. tentative. hopeful?
at least ruoye is a welcome distraction from the discussion of his red, red eye, and he blinks down at the ferret. a constant companion that has had no explanation before now. ]
I see. [ he is my soul companion. that's a lot he's going to have to figure out as time goes on. but he bows his head in return, as if this is a normal conversation.
(he was a soldier and is a ghost, he's seen strange enough things.) ] I certainly hope so. Thank you for taking care of us, Ruoye.
xie lian sits back a little after that, pleased, and ruoye chitters, sticking his head up in san lang's direction. ]
You may pet him, if you'd like.
[ might as well get that out of the way. ruoye seems in perfect agreement with this, and if not stopped, he will hop right into this little soldier's lap like it's nothing. ]
he's not going to stop ruoye, that's for certain. his expression, initially, definitely reads as "i want to, but you just said this was your soul companion, so i have no right to that" before he's essentially given no choice in the matter. but there's no revulsion for xie lian, and san lang doesn't experience it either. instead, he just -
without a daemon of his own, as ruoye is physically manifested, he doesn't experience the full weight of the warmth. but it's still there, as he lets the ferret do whatever he likes, tentatively hovering his hands over him. ]
ruoye just immediately grabs his hand with his little paw and pulls it down, flopping over cutely into san lang's lap with his hand. pet me.
it makes xie lian laugh - a little breathless, because he gets the full punch to the gut of warmth from the touch, though he's at least used to it so it's a laugh none the less. happiness warms up his face, and he rubs at his mouth gently with a big sleeve, watching this. ]
Please - there is no need to hesitate. [ ruoye pipes up in his cute voice just a moment later, for the first time, with an enthusiastic yes! ]
san lang freezes, but allows this to happen, carefully setting his hand on ruoye and stroking once his hand has been mostly released. he doesn't feel the warmth in the same way that xie lian does, but there's an inkling of something in his chest - a sudden, distant star gone supernova, honey-warm. safe.
but of course he speaks. of course this part of xie lian could also share his heart. ]
[ ...it's familiar, if just a tiny, tiny bit melancholy. it's been a while since xie lian's time in those strange new worlds ended, now, and he has had no time to reach out - or, hasn't wanted to. sometimes, he still wears the shame like a cloak, curled up around his shoulders.
so this is the first time he's felt it. it's a reminder that the baraqiel he knew was not - was not his hua cheng, maybe, but... this one is. it's still him.
(he finds himself missing tanhua, just for a moment. a little nostalgia, a little bittersweet.)
still, xie lian's smile is gentle. ]
Mm. I think you'll find that he likes you very much, San Lang. [ ruoye chitters happily, content with showing off his voice, and squirms across san lang's lap, pretty much demanding that he continues to pet him. his little wiggle worm. ] He is independent of me in a sense - he very much has his own personality, and has been through quite a bit.
... He's been looking forward to [ i've been looking forward to ] meeting you.
... you both watched over me. [ ruoye, curled up around his lantern, despite the fact it gave no warmth. xie lian, letting it sit nestled in the cradle of his crossed legs, a safe place as he cultivated and shared what little spiritual energy he had with him.
despite the reverence that leads to hesitation, ruoye is insistent. his fingers ghost over his little head, and then he scratches under his chin, around his full cheeks, thumb rubbing the bridge of his nose, a quiet affection and gratitude that he tries to lavish the daemon in. perhaps it extends to his person, as well. ]
Of course I would treat him as I would you, Dianxia. [ i'll keep him safe, i won't let him go through anything.
i'll keep you safe, i won't let you go through anything alone anymore. ]
[ xie lian's heart swells for a moment, recalling the words of an elder hua cheng.
Where one might end, another will begin - another banquet, another story, another journey. The fox and the rabbit would meet, again and again.
he has to duck his head to keep his expression hidden, the small smile lighting up his exhausted features like the warmth of a hearth. it feels like hope, something xie lian has lost sight of every now and then, in the hell of his life.
absently, he lifts his hand to press it to his own chest. ]
We have tried to. [ watch over him. ] And we - and I have often failed.
[ ... ] I told you to stop believing in me once, you know. You are quite stubborn - you never did, did you?
[ this san lang - this hong-er, this young man who will become hua cheng, given some time - misses the smile, the hopefulness, the light that's come from something so simple yet so profound all at once. but to him, it's as easy as what breathing had been, when he was alive.
he would never, ever give up on xie lian.
it's as he's now bringing both hands to pet ruoye that he looks up proper, blinking his mismatched eyes at xie lian. ]
Dianxia has never given me reason to doubt, nor forget. I said that I would not - and I still will not. [ a moment, then: ] You gave me purpose, and meaning. You gave me a reason to live. To die for you was my greatest honor, but I would not leave this world so long as you were in it, not after the kindness that you showed me when no one else would.
[ okay, listen. listen!!! he's expecting this kind of response, because after weeks of getting to know hua cheng, he likes to say things that affirm all the parts of xie lian that he feels like he's going to lose hold of, likes to say things that are sweepingly kind and sincere and he means them but it's still!! a lot!! it's a lot, especially when he has the incarnation of xie lian's literal soul in his lap.
ruoye, delighted, wriggles into the hands further, while his person just kind of stares, processing. and then, he makes a soft noise, almost a little laugh, and reaches up to rub his own cheek. ]
...Fair enough. [ i would not leave this world so long as you were in it. ] Then... I'm glad for it, San Lang. That I have done so much to earn your belief so fervently is - well. I think I ought to be thanking you.
[ his voice softens at the end there, rounding out, as ruoye nuzzles against his hand one last time before wriggling out of hua cheng's lap, coming instead to snuggle up against his side. ]
Things are not so easy, here and now. It has been a long and difficult road, but... if you would like to traverse it with us, then, you are more than welcome to stand by my side. It would be my honor, really. What do you think?
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no subject
at least ruoye is a welcome distraction from the discussion of his red, red eye, and he blinks down at the ferret. a constant companion that has had no explanation before now. ]
I see. [ he is my soul companion. that's a lot he's going to have to figure out as time goes on. but he bows his head in return, as if this is a normal conversation.
(he was a soldier and is a ghost, he's seen strange enough things.) ] I certainly hope so. Thank you for taking care of us, Ruoye.
no subject
xie lian sits back a little after that, pleased, and ruoye chitters, sticking his head up in san lang's direction. ]
You may pet him, if you'd like.
[ might as well get that out of the way. ruoye seems in perfect agreement with this, and if not stopped, he will hop right into this little soldier's lap like it's nothing. ]
no subject
well.
he's not going to stop ruoye, that's for certain. his expression, initially, definitely reads as "i want to, but you just said this was your soul companion, so i have no right to that" before he's essentially given no choice in the matter. but there's no revulsion for xie lian, and san lang doesn't experience it either. instead, he just -
without a daemon of his own, as ruoye is physically manifested, he doesn't experience the full weight of the warmth. but it's still there, as he lets the ferret do whatever he likes, tentatively hovering his hands over him. ]
no subject
ruoye just immediately grabs his hand with his little paw and pulls it down, flopping over cutely into san lang's lap with his hand. pet me.
it makes xie lian laugh - a little breathless, because he gets the full punch to the gut of warmth from the touch, though he's at least used to it so it's a laugh none the less. happiness warms up his face, and he rubs at his mouth gently with a big sleeve, watching this. ]
Please - there is no need to hesitate. [ ruoye pipes up in his cute voice just a moment later, for the first time, with an enthusiastic yes! ]
no subject
san lang freezes, but allows this to happen, carefully setting his hand on ruoye and stroking once his hand has been mostly released. he doesn't feel the warmth in the same way that xie lian does, but there's an inkling of something in his chest - a sudden, distant star gone supernova, honey-warm. safe.
but of course he speaks. of course this part of xie lian could also share his heart. ]
... how wonderful, Dianxia.
no subject
so this is the first time he's felt it. it's a reminder that the baraqiel he knew was not - was not his hua cheng, maybe, but... this one is. it's still him.
(he finds himself missing tanhua, just for a moment. a little nostalgia, a little bittersweet.)
still, xie lian's smile is gentle. ]
Mm. I think you'll find that he likes you very much, San Lang. [ ruoye chitters happily, content with showing off his voice, and squirms across san lang's lap, pretty much demanding that he continues to pet him. his little wiggle worm. ] He is independent of me in a sense - he very much has his own personality, and has been through quite a bit.
... He's been looking forward to [ i've been looking forward to ] meeting you.
no subject
despite the reverence that leads to hesitation, ruoye is insistent. his fingers ghost over his little head, and then he scratches under his chin, around his full cheeks, thumb rubbing the bridge of his nose, a quiet affection and gratitude that he tries to lavish the daemon in. perhaps it extends to his person, as well. ]
Of course I would treat him as I would you, Dianxia. [ i'll keep him safe, i won't let him go through anything.
i'll keep you safe, i won't let you go through anything alone anymore. ]
no subject
Where one might end, another will begin - another banquet, another story, another journey. The fox and the rabbit would meet, again and again.
he has to duck his head to keep his expression hidden, the small smile lighting up his exhausted features like the warmth of a hearth. it feels like hope, something xie lian has lost sight of every now and then, in the hell of his life.
absently, he lifts his hand to press it to his own chest. ]
We have tried to. [ watch over him. ] And we - and I have often failed.
[ ... ] I told you to stop believing in me once, you know. You are quite stubborn - you never did, did you?
no subject
he would never, ever give up on xie lian.
it's as he's now bringing both hands to pet ruoye that he looks up proper, blinking his mismatched eyes at xie lian. ]
Dianxia has never given me reason to doubt, nor forget. I said that I would not - and I still will not. [ a moment, then: ] You gave me purpose, and meaning. You gave me a reason to live. To die for you was my greatest honor, but I would not leave this world so long as you were in it, not after the kindness that you showed me when no one else would.
surprise tags you like a year and a half later
ruoye, delighted, wriggles into the hands further, while his person just kind of stares, processing. and then, he makes a soft noise, almost a little laugh, and reaches up to rub his own cheek. ]
...Fair enough. [ i would not leave this world so long as you were in it. ] Then... I'm glad for it, San Lang. That I have done so much to earn your belief so fervently is - well. I think I ought to be thanking you.
[ his voice softens at the end there, rounding out, as ruoye nuzzles against his hand one last time before wriggling out of hua cheng's lap, coming instead to snuggle up against his side. ]
Things are not so easy, here and now. It has been a long and difficult road, but... if you would like to traverse it with us, then, you are more than welcome to stand by my side. It would be my honor, really. What do you think?