[ he will put in the effort and tilt his head to give him a Look. it fails because there's a twinkle of mischief in his eyes but still. ]
Do I look like the sort of person who would enjoy pain? You had a long diatribe about how breakable my bones are once upon a time. Something about being too bourgeoisie for a lifestyle in front of a computer, but still unexercised...?
[ this is funny because he is the person who enjoys pain ]
Now, your handcuffs, I wouldn't be opposed. [ yes he would be ] They're aesthetically pleasing.
[ this Look is truly ineffective with that twinkling mischief, but he somehow also doesn't totally hate it. if he did he wouldn't have put up with fei du for so long, and wouldn't have invited him into his home to basically live there for an indeterminate amount of time. ]
I still stand by it. [ firmly ] You could use some exercise so that you don't break in half - your glasses are more durable than you.
[ anyways. he knows he would not like the handcuffs. ]
But I just get a feeling it'd be a treat instead of punishment.
[ okay see hes expecting the retaliation this time but fei du's reflexes, even enhanced by the power of being a supernatural creature, are no match for luo wenzhou's. he makes a less than dignified noise and jolts upwards when he gets whacked this time, and then the shitty little victory smile turns briefly into a grin, and then tamped down into a much more innocent expression as he lifts up both of his hands in "i'm innocent". ]
[ not that he won't eat it, but wenzhou specifically planned this meal for fei du's sake. heavy in iron and protein, with palatable blood included so that he'd be able to stomach it without tasting it as blood. just a tofu-like texture and a silky, savory flavor of the blood "tofu." the rich and spiced taste of the blood sausage.
... although, he's not really thinking about that sausage to give fei du right now. the undignified noise is both satisfying and unfortunate, really. ]
Maybe you just see misbehavior everywhere? Hate the sin, love the sinner.
[ yeah okay. the first part gets no real reaction except a quirk of his mouth, that clearly he's very amused. he's not unaware of what wenzhou is cooking - it looks good and smells good, smells actually palatable despite its main ingredients, and he will, maybe, let him go back to cook in peace for a few minutes.
maybe. after a moment, he shifts to unbutton his expensive cufflinks and roll up his sleeves. he's probably going to ask him to help, and as weird as that was the first time, by now, he's kind of used to it. also if he's showing off a little bit more skin, even if it's something as innocent as a forearm, then, hey. he does love to misbehave. ]
I see the misbehavior everywhere because the sinner is always sinning.
[ pain in the neck vampire shitlord. wenzhou growls low to himself, after grousing that out, before he looks away from... scandalous, forearms. it's just weirdly domestic and also erotic at the same time. very conflicting set of feelings that should butt heads, but seem to weirdly mesh into something that makes sense.
he really should have just kicked him out of the kitchen instead of having him come in here.
but instead of acting on that, with a heaved sigh, he reaches for a cutting board and sets it down with the vegetables he pulled out, grabbing a knife that wasn't bloodied earlier to set down with them. ]
[ his facial expression clearly just says "hehe" as he comes over, letting out a soft, amused noise. who? me? fei du? sinning? never.
but he is well behaved enough to listen to directions. they've settled into this... whatever this is, something between a temporary truce and the hints of something much bigger, and he's more than cognizant of it, but lets it happen. fei du takes the knife, fingers curling easily around the handle, and despite all of the thinly veiled 'threats' from before, he just takes to the cutting board and the vegetables. ]
[ this is part of why wenzhou doesn't bat an eye at his threats, except to roll them at most; fei du has every opportunity to act, every chance to show him what a monster he supposedly is, and he never does. they truly would be up shit creek if he ever decided to become a villain, because he'd easily be able to sweep even a beloved police captain's murder under the rug as something like a burglary or woeful happenstance. ]
Julienne. [ the answer is easy, as he... actually tops off the wine glass, without blood, and then finally puts the bottle away. positive reinforcement, maybe. or just a treat for good behavior. ] Or, close enough to it.
[ and, like that, he just. settles in next to him. making a meal in what feels a lot like their kitchen for a few minutes. scary but comfortable thoughts to have. ]
[ julienned. he's watched wenzhou do that before - it's not hard, like creating long matchsticks. fei du makes a noise, an affirmative, and turns his wrist deftly to start to cut the vegetables. it's easy, methodic work, and his cuts are true and precise.
his gaze falls on the wine glass for a moment, brows jumping up in surprise, before he looks up to wenzhou... and then back to the glass, quirking a smile. ]
While my hands are occupied? [ there's a playfulness to it, as if he's lamenting, while he cuts the veggies. ] That's a different kind of torture.
Maybe it's encouragement to do a good job so you can drink it after.
[ his tone is dry, but not very much so, as he works on slicing the sausage at an angle to add to his bone stock soup. while fei du looks at him, wenzhou's gaze remains down as if he needs to focus on what he's doing lest he slice off his fingers. (mostly, he's just feigning it - he's deft enough in the kitchen that he's not really ever worried about accidentally cutting himself.) ]
That all is for adding after the soup is done, so it can get set aside once you've cut all of the vegetables. [ even though his kitchen helper is, well, new to doing literally anything in the kitchen like this, there's no concern about him not doing it right. fei du has proven before he can be taught. ]
[ he makes a little noise of agreement as he sets aside a nicely sliced pile of veggies, peering over at wenzhou occasionally just to watch him work. he really is pretty good at this. it hearkens back to his usual complaint, that fei du doesn't know the value of a dollar, or the work that goes into the things he has, or whatever it is he's lecturing him about these days, but it is a little novel just to see someone create something with their own hands like this. he could sort of understand it.
companionable silence passes for a while, as he works through the veggies, as wenzhou cuts the sausage. its relatively peaceful. domestic, even, as strange as that is. once everything's all cut, he nudges it to the edge of the board and pushes the board across to wenzhou with his free hand, then sets the knife down and comes to peer over wenzhou's shoulder to see how things are going, picking up the wine glass and holding it like it might just get taken away. ]
[ once he's done with the sausage, it gets added to the soup with a sound scrape across the cutting board with his knife. the next thing to get prepped is the pork belly, cut into bite-sized pieces in quick order. the audience doesn't bother him, nor does the silence, and he settles into it comfortably, for as strange a concept that is.
... he likes it. wenzhou likes fei du's company, for all of their bickering and complaints and - nowadays less intense, less heated, less real - barbs thrown at each other. something he decided on a whim, in the face of the mausoleum that is the fei villa and its current (and sole) occupant being injured, is now something he prefers above all else. at this point it's hard to imagine anything different.
even if fei du's literal proximity now makes his skin prickle a little. ]
Maybe when I retire from being a cop I'll open up a vampire restaurant.
[ there's something a little funny about that - he laughs, a soft noise, and takes a little sip of his wine. ]
You'd be the first thing on the menu.
[ mr. "im so hot and sexy"
the comedy of the idea of a human running a vampire restaurant is enough to sustain fei du forever. it makes his laugh genuine, makes the cheer on his face obviously real, a flicker of a person that so often hides behind a mask, the beast in human skin who might not be a beast at all. ]
I'd invest in it, though, so you'd better not die on day one.
[ a part of him definitely preens at having the genuine laugh, and it's something he doesn't make much effort to hide as he dumps the meat into a pan to crisp up. ]
As if I'd let just anyone take a bite out of me. [ an elbow nudges at fei du, but not hard enough to get him out of his space. ] I'm a hunk, not a hunk of meat.
[ haha. wenzhou says it with a boyish, amused curl at the corner of his mouth, ignoring the fact that there's no real maybe to that. the only vampire he has any interest of cooking for is fei du, and he's already long since decided that. ]
[ he doesn't bother to dodge the elbow; as wenzhou continues, his peach blossom eyes turn up at the corners, as flirtatious as ever, and he clicks his tongue when he looks up at him. ]
Too bad. I am a carnivore.
[ that does not need to be nearly as insinuating as it is and yet, here we are. ]
[ a huff escapes him, half amused. ] Only for certain meat. But I don't think you've earned that yet.
[ the yet implies that it's possibly in fei du's future, but he's not caving to his attempts to flirt his way out of - well, everything. even if they both know it has an effect on wenzhou, and he is interested. that's really the problem with vampire senses.
but he's already decided that this is it. fei du is it. ]
If you keep stringing me along like this, I might really just bite you, you know.
[ fei du says this as lightly as can be, on the edge of a laugh - with that, he will dip out of wenzhou's closest proximity, the opposite of his words as he's the opposite of his meaning, and take a step back, turning to head out of the kitchen. time to run away from that particular insinuation! nope!!
he waves over his shoulder though as he does, easy. ] Let me know when dinner's ready, one way or another.
[ coward, he does not say, even though he wants to. ]
I feel like I'm the one getting the mixed signals here. [ his tone is lofty, but wenzhou is... learning. he's come to understand how fei du works, to a degree, and is continuing to pursue a better understanding on just how he works. with a glance over his shoulder to watch him go, he turns back to what he's doing. ]
he turns, leans on the edge of the doorway with one shoulder, dark eyes sweeping luo wenzhou up and down. fei du can't resist a challenge, no matter what it is. ]
Now, how is that so? I think I've been very clear about my interests, shixiong.
[ it's not like luo wenzhou, of all people, should be judging him for immediately turning his attention towards a challenge, no matter how legitimate it is or not. he rises to the bait constantly and has a hard time backing down from most anything. so the fact that this throwaway jab has him about facing shouldn't make him laugh - he'd do the same goddamn thing.
but it is a little funny. ]
Oh, you've certainly been obvious about certain interests. Wanting me for my body is absolutely valid, after all, with all the hard work I've put into it. [ he moves away from the stove to open a cabinet while he speaks. ] And yet it's things like that, that you "really might bite" me, that truly run hot and cold.
[ and nevermind him running away from actual discussions of feelings, or dancing around the concept. ]
I know it's been a while for you, Captain Luo, but sometimes, that's how people flirt with each other.
[ there's a mimic of wenzhou's earlier tone, here, like he's teaching a fussy child. maybe it's that form of sadism, a streak he's never fully been able to cover, or... really, that he doesn't ever seem to mind to cause himself pain. he could just leave this be, but he prods at it like poking into an open wound, anyway - it's so close to that feelings conversation.
must be the masochism, actually. ] But, I get the picture.
[ reaching for the bowls, wenzhou pauses with the jab at him, brow twitching slightly before he resumes and sets them down on the counter with a firm clack of the dishware against the surface. really, why does he even bother? this brat is so ungrateful, and so insincere - who's the actual masochist here? ]
Somehow, I feel like you don't. But that's fine. [ reaching for the ladle, he serves up the meal. portioning isn't hard when he knows that fei du actually eats like a bird for all that he's a bat. ] You can learn new tricks.
[ like being more honest. with a click of his tongue, he turns and brings him a piping hot bowl filled with protein and iron and disguised blood, the vegetables he cut earlier arranged neatly to show his work and proof of new tricks. ]
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luo wenzhou gives his back (and his ass, by proxy) a very tired, annoyed look. ]
I'm inclined to think you'd enjoy a spanking more than you'd hate it, actually, so maybe I should just handcuff you somewhere.
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Do I look like the sort of person who would enjoy pain? You had a long diatribe about how breakable my bones are once upon a time. Something about being too bourgeoisie for a lifestyle in front of a computer, but still unexercised...?
[ this is funny because he is the person who enjoys pain ]
Now, your handcuffs, I wouldn't be opposed. [ yes he would be ] They're aesthetically pleasing.
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I still stand by it. [ firmly ] You could use some exercise so that you don't break in half - your glasses are more durable than you.
[ anyways. he knows he would not like the handcuffs. ]
But I just get a feeling it'd be a treat instead of punishment.
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Exercise me, then.
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wenzhou takes one, wide step forward, and just whips him directly on the ass with the towel. ]
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Haha, don't burn your dinner.
[ delightful ]
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[ not that he won't eat it, but wenzhou specifically planned this meal for fei du's sake. heavy in iron and protein, with palatable blood included so that he'd be able to stomach it without tasting it as blood. just a tofu-like texture and a silky, savory flavor of the blood "tofu." the rich and spiced taste of the blood sausage.
... although, he's not really thinking about that sausage to give fei du right now. the undignified noise is both satisfying and unfortunate, really. ]
You really just love to misbehave.
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[ yeah okay. the first part gets no real reaction except a quirk of his mouth, that clearly he's very amused. he's not unaware of what wenzhou is cooking - it looks good and smells good, smells actually palatable despite its main ingredients, and he will, maybe, let him go back to cook in peace for a few minutes.
maybe. after a moment, he shifts to unbutton his expensive cufflinks and roll up his sleeves. he's probably going to ask him to help, and as weird as that was the first time, by now, he's kind of used to it. also if he's showing off a little bit more skin, even if it's something as innocent as a forearm, then, hey. he does love to misbehave. ]
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[ pain in the neck vampire shitlord. wenzhou growls low to himself, after grousing that out, before he looks away from... scandalous, forearms. it's just weirdly domestic and also erotic at the same time. very conflicting set of feelings that should butt heads, but seem to weirdly mesh into something that makes sense.
he really should have just kicked him out of the kitchen instead of having him come in here.
but instead of acting on that, with a heaved sigh, he reaches for a cutting board and sets it down with the vegetables he pulled out, grabbing a knife that wasn't bloodied earlier to set down with them. ]
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but he is well behaved enough to listen to directions. they've settled into this... whatever this is, something between a temporary truce and the hints of something much bigger, and he's more than cognizant of it, but lets it happen. fei du takes the knife, fingers curling easily around the handle, and despite all of the thinly veiled 'threats' from before, he just takes to the cutting board and the vegetables. ]
What shape? [ domesticated ]
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Julienne. [ the answer is easy, as he... actually tops off the wine glass, without blood, and then finally puts the bottle away. positive reinforcement, maybe. or just a treat for good behavior. ] Or, close enough to it.
[ and, like that, he just. settles in next to him. making a meal in what feels a lot like their kitchen for a few minutes. scary but comfortable thoughts to have. ]
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his gaze falls on the wine glass for a moment, brows jumping up in surprise, before he looks up to wenzhou... and then back to the glass, quirking a smile. ]
While my hands are occupied? [ there's a playfulness to it, as if he's lamenting, while he cuts the veggies. ] That's a different kind of torture.
[ no heat to that at all; it's a joke. ]
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[ his tone is dry, but not very much so, as he works on slicing the sausage at an angle to add to his bone stock soup. while fei du looks at him, wenzhou's gaze remains down as if he needs to focus on what he's doing lest he slice off his fingers. (mostly, he's just feigning it - he's deft enough in the kitchen that he's not really ever worried about accidentally cutting himself.) ]
That all is for adding after the soup is done, so it can get set aside once you've cut all of the vegetables. [ even though his kitchen helper is, well, new to doing literally anything in the kitchen like this, there's no concern about him not doing it right. fei du has proven before he can be taught. ]
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companionable silence passes for a while, as he works through the veggies, as wenzhou cuts the sausage. its relatively peaceful. domestic, even, as strange as that is. once everything's all cut, he nudges it to the edge of the board and pushes the board across to wenzhou with his free hand, then sets the knife down and comes to peer over wenzhou's shoulder to see how things are going, picking up the wine glass and holding it like it might just get taken away. ]
Smells good.
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... he likes it. wenzhou likes fei du's company, for all of their bickering and complaints and - nowadays less intense, less heated, less real - barbs thrown at each other. something he decided on a whim, in the face of the mausoleum that is the fei villa and its current (and sole) occupant being injured, is now something he prefers above all else. at this point it's hard to imagine anything different.
even if fei du's literal proximity now makes his skin prickle a little. ]
Maybe when I retire from being a cop I'll open up a vampire restaurant.
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You'd be the first thing on the menu.
[ mr. "im so hot and sexy"
the comedy of the idea of a human running a vampire restaurant is enough to sustain fei du forever. it makes his laugh genuine, makes the cheer on his face obviously real, a flicker of a person that so often hides behind a mask, the beast in human skin who might not be a beast at all. ]
I'd invest in it, though, so you'd better not die on day one.
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As if I'd let just anyone take a bite out of me. [ an elbow nudges at fei du, but not hard enough to get him out of his space. ] I'm a hunk, not a hunk of meat.
[ haha. wenzhou says it with a boyish, amused curl at the corner of his mouth, ignoring the fact that there's no real maybe to that. the only vampire he has any interest of cooking for is fei du, and he's already long since decided that. ]
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Too bad. I am a carnivore.
[ that does not need to be nearly as insinuating as it is and yet, here we are. ]
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[ the yet implies that it's possibly in fei du's future, but he's not caving to his attempts to flirt his way out of - well, everything. even if they both know it has an effect on wenzhou, and he is interested. that's really the problem with vampire senses.
but he's already decided that this is it. fei du is it. ]
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[ fei du says this as lightly as can be, on the edge of a laugh - with that, he will dip out of wenzhou's closest proximity, the opposite of his words as he's the opposite of his meaning, and take a step back, turning to head out of the kitchen. time to run away from that particular insinuation! nope!!
he waves over his shoulder though as he does, easy. ] Let me know when dinner's ready, one way or another.
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I feel like I'm the one getting the mixed signals here. [ his tone is lofty, but wenzhou is... learning. he's come to understand how fei du works, to a degree, and is continuing to pursue a better understanding on just how he works. with a glance over his shoulder to watch him go, he turns back to what he's doing. ]
Soon enough. Go sit down and don't cause trouble.
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he turns, leans on the edge of the doorway with one shoulder, dark eyes sweeping luo wenzhou up and down. fei du can't resist a challenge, no matter what it is. ]
Now, how is that so? I think I've been very clear about my interests, shixiong.
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but it is a little funny. ]
Oh, you've certainly been obvious about certain interests. Wanting me for my body is absolutely valid, after all, with all the hard work I've put into it. [ he moves away from the stove to open a cabinet while he speaks. ] And yet it's things like that, that you "really might bite" me, that truly run hot and cold.
[ and nevermind him running away from actual discussions of feelings, or dancing around the concept. ]
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[ there's a mimic of wenzhou's earlier tone, here, like he's teaching a fussy child. maybe it's that form of sadism, a streak he's never fully been able to cover, or... really, that he doesn't ever seem to mind to cause himself pain. he could just leave this be, but he prods at it like poking into an open wound, anyway - it's so close to that feelings conversation.
must be the masochism, actually. ] But, I get the picture.
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Somehow, I feel like you don't. But that's fine. [ reaching for the ladle, he serves up the meal. portioning isn't hard when he knows that fei du actually eats like a bird for all that he's a bat. ] You can learn new tricks.
[ like being more honest. with a click of his tongue, he turns and brings him a piping hot bowl filled with protein and iron and disguised blood, the vegetables he cut earlier arranged neatly to show his work and proof of new tricks. ]
Shut up and eat.
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