[ he's looking. disrespectfully. looking at his hand, and then he just does a blatant eyerake. ]
You should definitely be careful about who you say that to. [ though he doesn't specify which part of his statement he means, the former or the latter, and instead swirls his drink, content to sit and do just that. ] Talk about greedy.
[ while he turns his back to fei du to wash his hands - which most people would advise you not to do against any vampire, even if it's one you know - it's still obvious that he rolls his eyes with the way his head lolls a little. ]
You, or me? I'm the most selfless person there is. [ ok wenzhou. (kind of true) (but also) ] Are you just going to stand there and look pretty while you flap your mouth? I guess company while I cook is fine, but if you're going to be annoying the whole time...
If you're good at multitasking, I'm sure I could find a creative use for my mouth. [ beat ] Then again, the Homo sapiens neanderthalensis may struggle with higher level executive function.
[ wow
but he's also hopping off the counter so make of that what you will I guess ]
[ once fei du is close enough, wenzhou whips him with the hand towel he's using to dry his hands off. just a quick crack to his general hip and ass region - although the target is a little small for the latter. (still nice, though.) ]
You'll spoil your appetite if you have dessert before dinner. [ the quip back is immediate, even if the proximity in the small kitchen will make it obvious that he is. unfortunately. interested.
he can't help that he's a warm blooded human, alright? with a healthy libido! even if he curses these hormones. ]
[ STARTLED AND OFFENDED AT THIS TOWEL WHACK no one just whacks his ass or puts their hands all over him for no fun reason except luo wenzhou... tch.... he makes a face, much like a cat, and then changes tacks, moving to lean his forearms on the counter so he has to leaaaaan over to do it. out of towel reach, but still.
look at him. he is posing. he knows this is working. ]
I should be saying that to you. [ with a knowing look - it's in his voice, even. ] The flesh is willing, but... well, you know the rest.
[ the mind is willing and the body is weak. the spirit? whatever.
admittedly, wenzhou is aware that this is probably simultaneously a dig at his intellect again. but he's trying not to look at fei du bent over his countertop like that, even though he is definitely aware of it. his skin prickles and he can feel the heat trying to break free from where he's not-so-neatly shoved it down. ]
Didn't I tell you to stop being annoying? At this rate I might have to bend you over my knee.
[ well he just leans forward a little more absently and reaches for his phone, streeetching his arms out across the counter like he's going to play with his phone that way and says ]
I have heard punishment is an excellent, lasting way to teach a lesson.
[ he will put in the effort and tilt his head to give him a Look. it fails because there's a twinkle of mischief in his eyes but still. ]
Do I look like the sort of person who would enjoy pain? You had a long diatribe about how breakable my bones are once upon a time. Something about being too bourgeoisie for a lifestyle in front of a computer, but still unexercised...?
[ this is funny because he is the person who enjoys pain ]
Now, your handcuffs, I wouldn't be opposed. [ yes he would be ] They're aesthetically pleasing.
[ this Look is truly ineffective with that twinkling mischief, but he somehow also doesn't totally hate it. if he did he wouldn't have put up with fei du for so long, and wouldn't have invited him into his home to basically live there for an indeterminate amount of time. ]
I still stand by it. [ firmly ] You could use some exercise so that you don't break in half - your glasses are more durable than you.
[ anyways. he knows he would not like the handcuffs. ]
But I just get a feeling it'd be a treat instead of punishment.
[ okay see hes expecting the retaliation this time but fei du's reflexes, even enhanced by the power of being a supernatural creature, are no match for luo wenzhou's. he makes a less than dignified noise and jolts upwards when he gets whacked this time, and then the shitty little victory smile turns briefly into a grin, and then tamped down into a much more innocent expression as he lifts up both of his hands in "i'm innocent". ]
[ not that he won't eat it, but wenzhou specifically planned this meal for fei du's sake. heavy in iron and protein, with palatable blood included so that he'd be able to stomach it without tasting it as blood. just a tofu-like texture and a silky, savory flavor of the blood "tofu." the rich and spiced taste of the blood sausage.
... although, he's not really thinking about that sausage to give fei du right now. the undignified noise is both satisfying and unfortunate, really. ]
Maybe you just see misbehavior everywhere? Hate the sin, love the sinner.
[ yeah okay. the first part gets no real reaction except a quirk of his mouth, that clearly he's very amused. he's not unaware of what wenzhou is cooking - it looks good and smells good, smells actually palatable despite its main ingredients, and he will, maybe, let him go back to cook in peace for a few minutes.
maybe. after a moment, he shifts to unbutton his expensive cufflinks and roll up his sleeves. he's probably going to ask him to help, and as weird as that was the first time, by now, he's kind of used to it. also if he's showing off a little bit more skin, even if it's something as innocent as a forearm, then, hey. he does love to misbehave. ]
I see the misbehavior everywhere because the sinner is always sinning.
[ pain in the neck vampire shitlord. wenzhou growls low to himself, after grousing that out, before he looks away from... scandalous, forearms. it's just weirdly domestic and also erotic at the same time. very conflicting set of feelings that should butt heads, but seem to weirdly mesh into something that makes sense.
he really should have just kicked him out of the kitchen instead of having him come in here.
but instead of acting on that, with a heaved sigh, he reaches for a cutting board and sets it down with the vegetables he pulled out, grabbing a knife that wasn't bloodied earlier to set down with them. ]
[ his facial expression clearly just says "hehe" as he comes over, letting out a soft, amused noise. who? me? fei du? sinning? never.
but he is well behaved enough to listen to directions. they've settled into this... whatever this is, something between a temporary truce and the hints of something much bigger, and he's more than cognizant of it, but lets it happen. fei du takes the knife, fingers curling easily around the handle, and despite all of the thinly veiled 'threats' from before, he just takes to the cutting board and the vegetables. ]
[ this is part of why wenzhou doesn't bat an eye at his threats, except to roll them at most; fei du has every opportunity to act, every chance to show him what a monster he supposedly is, and he never does. they truly would be up shit creek if he ever decided to become a villain, because he'd easily be able to sweep even a beloved police captain's murder under the rug as something like a burglary or woeful happenstance. ]
Julienne. [ the answer is easy, as he... actually tops off the wine glass, without blood, and then finally puts the bottle away. positive reinforcement, maybe. or just a treat for good behavior. ] Or, close enough to it.
[ and, like that, he just. settles in next to him. making a meal in what feels a lot like their kitchen for a few minutes. scary but comfortable thoughts to have. ]
[ julienned. he's watched wenzhou do that before - it's not hard, like creating long matchsticks. fei du makes a noise, an affirmative, and turns his wrist deftly to start to cut the vegetables. it's easy, methodic work, and his cuts are true and precise.
his gaze falls on the wine glass for a moment, brows jumping up in surprise, before he looks up to wenzhou... and then back to the glass, quirking a smile. ]
While my hands are occupied? [ there's a playfulness to it, as if he's lamenting, while he cuts the veggies. ] That's a different kind of torture.
Maybe it's encouragement to do a good job so you can drink it after.
[ his tone is dry, but not very much so, as he works on slicing the sausage at an angle to add to his bone stock soup. while fei du looks at him, wenzhou's gaze remains down as if he needs to focus on what he's doing lest he slice off his fingers. (mostly, he's just feigning it - he's deft enough in the kitchen that he's not really ever worried about accidentally cutting himself.) ]
That all is for adding after the soup is done, so it can get set aside once you've cut all of the vegetables. [ even though his kitchen helper is, well, new to doing literally anything in the kitchen like this, there's no concern about him not doing it right. fei du has proven before he can be taught. ]
[ he makes a little noise of agreement as he sets aside a nicely sliced pile of veggies, peering over at wenzhou occasionally just to watch him work. he really is pretty good at this. it hearkens back to his usual complaint, that fei du doesn't know the value of a dollar, or the work that goes into the things he has, or whatever it is he's lecturing him about these days, but it is a little novel just to see someone create something with their own hands like this. he could sort of understand it.
companionable silence passes for a while, as he works through the veggies, as wenzhou cuts the sausage. its relatively peaceful. domestic, even, as strange as that is. once everything's all cut, he nudges it to the edge of the board and pushes the board across to wenzhou with his free hand, then sets the knife down and comes to peer over wenzhou's shoulder to see how things are going, picking up the wine glass and holding it like it might just get taken away. ]
[ once he's done with the sausage, it gets added to the soup with a sound scrape across the cutting board with his knife. the next thing to get prepped is the pork belly, cut into bite-sized pieces in quick order. the audience doesn't bother him, nor does the silence, and he settles into it comfortably, for as strange a concept that is.
... he likes it. wenzhou likes fei du's company, for all of their bickering and complaints and - nowadays less intense, less heated, less real - barbs thrown at each other. something he decided on a whim, in the face of the mausoleum that is the fei villa and its current (and sole) occupant being injured, is now something he prefers above all else. at this point it's hard to imagine anything different.
even if fei du's literal proximity now makes his skin prickle a little. ]
Maybe when I retire from being a cop I'll open up a vampire restaurant.
[ there's something a little funny about that - he laughs, a soft noise, and takes a little sip of his wine. ]
You'd be the first thing on the menu.
[ mr. "im so hot and sexy"
the comedy of the idea of a human running a vampire restaurant is enough to sustain fei du forever. it makes his laugh genuine, makes the cheer on his face obviously real, a flicker of a person that so often hides behind a mask, the beast in human skin who might not be a beast at all. ]
I'd invest in it, though, so you'd better not die on day one.
[ a part of him definitely preens at having the genuine laugh, and it's something he doesn't make much effort to hide as he dumps the meat into a pan to crisp up. ]
As if I'd let just anyone take a bite out of me. [ an elbow nudges at fei du, but not hard enough to get him out of his space. ] I'm a hunk, not a hunk of meat.
[ haha. wenzhou says it with a boyish, amused curl at the corner of his mouth, ignoring the fact that there's no real maybe to that. the only vampire he has any interest of cooking for is fei du, and he's already long since decided that. ]
[ he doesn't bother to dodge the elbow; as wenzhou continues, his peach blossom eyes turn up at the corners, as flirtatious as ever, and he clicks his tongue when he looks up at him. ]
Too bad. I am a carnivore.
[ that does not need to be nearly as insinuating as it is and yet, here we are. ]
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You should definitely be careful about who you say that to. [ though he doesn't specify which part of his statement he means, the former or the latter, and instead swirls his drink, content to sit and do just that. ] Talk about greedy.
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You, or me? I'm the most selfless person there is. [ ok wenzhou. (kind of true) (but also) ] Are you just going to stand there and look pretty while you flap your mouth? I guess company while I cook is fine, but if you're going to be annoying the whole time...
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If you're good at multitasking, I'm sure I could find a creative use for my mouth. [ beat ] Then again, the Homo sapiens neanderthalensis may struggle with higher level executive function.
[ wow
but he's also hopping off the counter so make of that what you will I guess ]
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You'll spoil your appetite if you have dessert before dinner. [ the quip back is immediate, even if the proximity in the small kitchen will make it obvious that he is. unfortunately. interested.
he can't help that he's a warm blooded human, alright? with a healthy libido! even if he curses these hormones. ]
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look at him. he is posing. he knows this is working. ]
I should be saying that to you. [ with a knowing look - it's in his voice, even. ] The flesh is willing, but... well, you know the rest.
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[ the mind is willing and the body is weak. the spirit? whatever.
admittedly, wenzhou is aware that this is probably simultaneously a dig at his intellect again. but he's trying not to look at fei du bent over his countertop like that, even though he is definitely aware of it. his skin prickles and he can feel the heat trying to break free from where he's not-so-neatly shoved it down. ]
Didn't I tell you to stop being annoying? At this rate I might have to bend you over my knee.
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I have heard punishment is an excellent, lasting way to teach a lesson.
[ Fei Du. ]
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luo wenzhou gives his back (and his ass, by proxy) a very tired, annoyed look. ]
I'm inclined to think you'd enjoy a spanking more than you'd hate it, actually, so maybe I should just handcuff you somewhere.
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Do I look like the sort of person who would enjoy pain? You had a long diatribe about how breakable my bones are once upon a time. Something about being too bourgeoisie for a lifestyle in front of a computer, but still unexercised...?
[ this is funny because he is the person who enjoys pain ]
Now, your handcuffs, I wouldn't be opposed. [ yes he would be ] They're aesthetically pleasing.
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I still stand by it. [ firmly ] You could use some exercise so that you don't break in half - your glasses are more durable than you.
[ anyways. he knows he would not like the handcuffs. ]
But I just get a feeling it'd be a treat instead of punishment.
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Exercise me, then.
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wenzhou takes one, wide step forward, and just whips him directly on the ass with the towel. ]
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Haha, don't burn your dinner.
[ delightful ]
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[ not that he won't eat it, but wenzhou specifically planned this meal for fei du's sake. heavy in iron and protein, with palatable blood included so that he'd be able to stomach it without tasting it as blood. just a tofu-like texture and a silky, savory flavor of the blood "tofu." the rich and spiced taste of the blood sausage.
... although, he's not really thinking about that sausage to give fei du right now. the undignified noise is both satisfying and unfortunate, really. ]
You really just love to misbehave.
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[ yeah okay. the first part gets no real reaction except a quirk of his mouth, that clearly he's very amused. he's not unaware of what wenzhou is cooking - it looks good and smells good, smells actually palatable despite its main ingredients, and he will, maybe, let him go back to cook in peace for a few minutes.
maybe. after a moment, he shifts to unbutton his expensive cufflinks and roll up his sleeves. he's probably going to ask him to help, and as weird as that was the first time, by now, he's kind of used to it. also if he's showing off a little bit more skin, even if it's something as innocent as a forearm, then, hey. he does love to misbehave. ]
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[ pain in the neck vampire shitlord. wenzhou growls low to himself, after grousing that out, before he looks away from... scandalous, forearms. it's just weirdly domestic and also erotic at the same time. very conflicting set of feelings that should butt heads, but seem to weirdly mesh into something that makes sense.
he really should have just kicked him out of the kitchen instead of having him come in here.
but instead of acting on that, with a heaved sigh, he reaches for a cutting board and sets it down with the vegetables he pulled out, grabbing a knife that wasn't bloodied earlier to set down with them. ]
no subject
but he is well behaved enough to listen to directions. they've settled into this... whatever this is, something between a temporary truce and the hints of something much bigger, and he's more than cognizant of it, but lets it happen. fei du takes the knife, fingers curling easily around the handle, and despite all of the thinly veiled 'threats' from before, he just takes to the cutting board and the vegetables. ]
What shape? [ domesticated ]
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Julienne. [ the answer is easy, as he... actually tops off the wine glass, without blood, and then finally puts the bottle away. positive reinforcement, maybe. or just a treat for good behavior. ] Or, close enough to it.
[ and, like that, he just. settles in next to him. making a meal in what feels a lot like their kitchen for a few minutes. scary but comfortable thoughts to have. ]
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his gaze falls on the wine glass for a moment, brows jumping up in surprise, before he looks up to wenzhou... and then back to the glass, quirking a smile. ]
While my hands are occupied? [ there's a playfulness to it, as if he's lamenting, while he cuts the veggies. ] That's a different kind of torture.
[ no heat to that at all; it's a joke. ]
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[ his tone is dry, but not very much so, as he works on slicing the sausage at an angle to add to his bone stock soup. while fei du looks at him, wenzhou's gaze remains down as if he needs to focus on what he's doing lest he slice off his fingers. (mostly, he's just feigning it - he's deft enough in the kitchen that he's not really ever worried about accidentally cutting himself.) ]
That all is for adding after the soup is done, so it can get set aside once you've cut all of the vegetables. [ even though his kitchen helper is, well, new to doing literally anything in the kitchen like this, there's no concern about him not doing it right. fei du has proven before he can be taught. ]
no subject
companionable silence passes for a while, as he works through the veggies, as wenzhou cuts the sausage. its relatively peaceful. domestic, even, as strange as that is. once everything's all cut, he nudges it to the edge of the board and pushes the board across to wenzhou with his free hand, then sets the knife down and comes to peer over wenzhou's shoulder to see how things are going, picking up the wine glass and holding it like it might just get taken away. ]
Smells good.
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... he likes it. wenzhou likes fei du's company, for all of their bickering and complaints and - nowadays less intense, less heated, less real - barbs thrown at each other. something he decided on a whim, in the face of the mausoleum that is the fei villa and its current (and sole) occupant being injured, is now something he prefers above all else. at this point it's hard to imagine anything different.
even if fei du's literal proximity now makes his skin prickle a little. ]
Maybe when I retire from being a cop I'll open up a vampire restaurant.
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You'd be the first thing on the menu.
[ mr. "im so hot and sexy"
the comedy of the idea of a human running a vampire restaurant is enough to sustain fei du forever. it makes his laugh genuine, makes the cheer on his face obviously real, a flicker of a person that so often hides behind a mask, the beast in human skin who might not be a beast at all. ]
I'd invest in it, though, so you'd better not die on day one.
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As if I'd let just anyone take a bite out of me. [ an elbow nudges at fei du, but not hard enough to get him out of his space. ] I'm a hunk, not a hunk of meat.
[ haha. wenzhou says it with a boyish, amused curl at the corner of his mouth, ignoring the fact that there's no real maybe to that. the only vampire he has any interest of cooking for is fei du, and he's already long since decided that. ]
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Too bad. I am a carnivore.
[ that does not need to be nearly as insinuating as it is and yet, here we are. ]
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